Only Time Will Tell
by Windblown.child
Summary: Captain Jack Harkness received a message from his past before the events of Miracle Day.


For the record, I don't own anything related to Doctor Who or Torchwood.

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Only Time Will Tell

Through his many centuries, Captain Jack Harkness had loved many times. That was the great adventure that made dragging himself back through the pain of dying worthwhile. He didn't distinguish between gender, or even species, preferring the purity of emotion over any society's ideals. In exchange, there was an endless list of those he had left, or had died, or grew old in his arms. The Captain had long ago mastered pushing away the memories that threatened to overwhelm him except for one name forever on his lips when he dreamed.

It only took 9 years and countless shifts in time for Jack to give in and scour all remaining earth records for information on Gwen Cooper. He didn't know if he should be relieved that records of the early 2000's were nearly all wiped out and no sign of her remained. Harkness never explained why he would awaken with tears in his eyes or a smile on his lips and the Doctor never asked.

"Jack? Are you scanning through the archives again?"

The captain looked up from the terminal and smiled at his longtime companion. "Course not. Just looking for where to go next."

"Well then, I've got a treat for you." The Doctor pranced closer and met Jack in an impromptu waltz.

"Hmm, you shouldn't have. I didn't get you anything." They stopped spinning and kissed gently.

Harkness would never grow tired of being pressed tightly against his doctor, lithe hands scrambling at his back and twisting in his hair. Gently, the Gallifreyan pulled back, reaching one hand into his pocket to pull out an octangular box the size of his palm. Instantly Jack recognized the T etched onto the battered surface. "Torchwood, circa early 2000's."

"What's in it?" Jack's heart felt like he had just chased down a weevil on foot, thrilled and terrified at being faced with a link to his old organization.

"Not sure. It's sealed. I can't even open it with the screwdriver." The Doctor turned the tin over to reveal the bottom.

Words were clearly stamped on the metal, only slightly faded with the centuries of waiting. "Property of Captain Jack Harkness."

Jack didn't notice the container being pressed into his hands or the Doctor leaving him alone at the terminal. He knew that the tin was indestructible and locked to anyone but the owner, but he could not recall ever having claimed the device. Eventually, curiosity got the better of him and the captain pried the lid open. Inside sat an old and battered looking memory storage device common in the Torchwood hub, but no indication of what was on it.

Days passed but Jack couldn't bring himself to see what was on the memory drive. It could be nothing but one of his old porn collections. Or it could be from Ianto, lost so long ago. Maybe even from Owen or Tosh. He couldn't let himself hope it was left by Gwen but that didn't stop the dreams from finding him when he slept.

Jack remembered every second he had spent with the feisty woman, the sweet sound of her laughter, and the heartbreak of her tears. He had come back to her, left his Doctor behind because she was what was important. And even after he left again, unable to put her in further danger, he could never forget. Before he could change his mind, Harkness plugged in the drive and stared at the screen.

Video flared to life, static quickly coalescing into a clear picture of a very pregnant woman leaning against the back of a well loved sofa. Her head was down, staring at her hand gently rubbing her protruding belly. Jack fought to remember how to breathe seeing the woman press her hand over the spot her baby kicked. The video couldn't have been taken more than a week after he had left so suddenly. Vaguely, he could hear Cardiff in the background, but Gwen didn't speak. She glanced at the camera and Jack thought he saw a silvery tear track down her cheek before the recording ended.

A second video was queued and automatically started playing. Gwen still leaned against the sofa, bits of her apartment visible around the edges. She hiccuped and wiped her eye before looking straight at the camera. "Hello Jack. This was the only way I could think of to get you a message."

She glanced down at her belly again. "It's only been 10 days, but I miss you."

The captain gripped the edge of the console tighter to keep from reaching out to the screen. "I wish you didn't have to go, didn't have to give up on Earth. But I can't blame you."

Something out of the sight of the camera caught Gwen's attention and she switched off the recording. Static danced across the screen for a handful of heartbeats before clearing again. The woman was seated on the sofa this time, visibly too pregnant to be standing.

"Damn you Jack Harkness!" Tears streamed from her wide eyes but she didn't stop them.

Eventually she got her breathing under control and stared straight into the camera. "I know you already have a family, from before I was even born, but I'm selfish."

Gwen's fists clenched but she forced them open and caressed her stomach. "I didn't- I want- I just. Bollocks."

She sat in silence for a long time and Jack felt the prickle of tears in his own eyes. He never wanted to leave her, but she had Rhys, and he was immortal. History had taught him he wasn't supposed to have a family, it only ended in tears and death. The video ended.

The next clip started to play and instantly Jack knew something was wrong. Gwen was reclined in a bed, wearing only a hospital gown, face pale and the camera shaky in her hands. The hospital bed made her look sickly and her hair was limp, but she sighed and gazed at the camera as if she could see the captain through the lens.

"I started labor early but they saved the baby. Bed rest and quiet for another 26 days." Gwen seemed to stare through the camera before coming back to herself. "I need you Jack."

The captain snatched the drive out of the computer and leaned against the terminal breathing heavily. He wanted nothing more than to jump through the nearest rift until he landed in Cardiff but that was never a solution. Ever since Gwen pressed her lips against his after defeating a sex obsessed alien, there was nothing he would not do for her. That included putting aside his own desires for the first time in as long as he could remember.

Not that he was completely altruistic when it came to the young woman. Jack knew she was spoken for when he taught her to handle a gun, but he couldn't resist seducing her. To his great surprise, Gwen didn't just fall into his arms. She left the hub and went home to her boyfriend without regret.

He respected her. Respected her heart and her determination to always do the right thing. It didn't matter if it was saving a lost alien or telling a mother the truth about her missing son. Gwen swept into the hub and turned his straightforward world on its end. And Jack wouldn't trade that for the world. In the decades waiting for his doctor, something had shriveled in his heart without him noticing until PC Cooper showed him his humanity again.

Jack kept the video drive in his pocket, running his fingers over the rounded edges and contemplated watching the rest of the files. At night, with the Doctor pressed warmly against his side, he would pull the drive out from under his pillow and stare at it in the dark. He knew that the Gallifreyan would take him back if he asked, but at the same time, he wasn't sure he could give up on the one person in the universe that understood him. The captain slid the last relic of Gwen Cooper under his pillow and closed his eyes.

Harkness looked up from the reports on his desk and realized that the hub was unusually quiet. The lights were still on, but there were no echoes of chatter or machinery in the spacious room. Unease crept up his spine and he silently got to his feet, checking his pistol was still at his side. Nothing looked out of place through the window and Jack relaxed slightly. Sometimes even he was sure the place was full of old ghosts.

Descending to the main level, the immortal looked around for any leftover pizza. What he found was Gwen curled up on the ratty old sofa asleep. Jack just looked at the young woman, following her curves with his eyes and longing to caress her soft skin. He loved her vibrancy, wanted to be a part of her life outside of Torchwood, wanted to be the first thing she saw in the morning and the last at night. And he had to admit she would probably be glorious in bed.

Carefully, the captain sat on the arm of the sofa by Gwen's head and brushed her dark hair away from her ear. The barest touch of her skin reverberated through him as she stirred slightly. "Hey, sleeping beauty. Why didn't you go home?"

"Hmm?" She sat up slightly, rubbing a hand through her hair. "I just didn't feel up to leaving."

Jack slid off the armrest and settled next to the former police constable. "You just couldn't bear to be away from me, is that it?" He teased, smiling gently. There was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to see her with proper bed hair.

"Of course, there's just something irresistible about you, Captain." Gwen smiled back and suddenly shifted against his side, snuggling under his arm.

Jack was shocked at the contact and thrilled, even as his heart felt like it was going too fast. "51st century pheromones."

"Is that when you're from?" Gwen's eyes slid shut and her voice grew slower with sleep.

"I'm from nowhere and everywhere." He resolutely kept his earliest memories locked away, unwilling to taint his time with Gwen.

"So why here? And now?"

"Why not?" The captain stroked her arm where his hand rested and closed his eyes as well. "I've been from one end of the universe to the other. Witnessed the birth of solar systems and the death of stars. Seen wild mustangs, star whales, and firebirds."

Slowly, the young woman reached up and caught his wrist, running her fingers over the supple leather of the vortex manipulator. She traced the snaps and stitching, felt along the edges and caressed the inside of his wrist. Jack completely forgot that he had been speaking but Gwen didn't seem to mind the silence. They sat together until she fell asleep still clutching his wrist and he pressed a kiss to her hair.

Jack woke to fingers gently wiping wetness from his eyes. The memory of holding Gwen Cooper on the sofa slid away and he could see the concern in the Doctor's eyes. He closed his eyes again and clung to the memory of her scent, the heat of her body. The next morning Harkness had been alone, his greatcoat laid over his chest and Gwen was already gone. Finally, the immortal let go of the past and smiled tightly at his Doctor.

For days, in tight spots and impossible situations, Jack couldn't stop thinking about the woman he left on Earth. There were times, while ducking away from gunfire, he would look back and swear he saw Gwen following him or ducking through the rubble ahead. At night, the captain dreamed of the moments between missions when they sat on the sofa and let the whirlwind settle. The small times that she smiled openly at him, dimples forming in her cheeks. And the rare times she laughed completely free.

Jack knew he was dreaming. Knew that he never took Gwen Cooper into his bed, but he could feel her heartbeat against his side. The sheets felt cool and silky against his skin, and he felt the gentle puff of air against his chest as she breathed. Harkness pressed a kiss to her head as she woke and looked up. But instead of cloudy blue, the eyes were dark caramel.

The captain kicked his way out of the bed and stood, forcing his heart rate to subside. Before the Doctor could call him back, Jack grabbed his trousers and left. Stabbing the memory stick into the computer with more force than necessary, the video resumed where he had left off. Gwen was still in the hospital, and she looked exhausted but she smiled all the way to her eyes. Then the camera moved slightly and revealed a wrinkly pink face peeking out of a soft blanket. He forgot how to breathe when the newborn scrunched up its eyes and yawned.

"Jack, this is Anwen Cooper, my daughter."

"She's perfect." The captain brushed his fingers over the monitor, trying to touch their faces even if he was a millennia too late.

For countless minutes the video was just of Gwen and tiny Anwen laying silently in the hospital bed and Jack soaked up every second until the screen went dark. The next file started and they were back in the Cardiff apartment, Anwen in a sling and Gwen singing a lullaby. Harkness clenched his hand at the memory of feeling the baby kick hard only a week before he left. He could have stayed, could have been there when her contractions started, could have held little darling Anwen.

The next clip the apartment was in disarray and a baby wailed out of sight. Gwen scooped up the camera and Jack knew she was furious and terrified. "God Jack, I wish you were here. Someone tried to blow up my house."

She ran one hand through her hair, leaving a smudge of soot across her forehead. "We're leaving. Going to go somewhere safe. The coast maybe."

The young woman took a deep breath and held it before releasing it in a weary sigh. "I don't know if you'll ever be back, but I'm sure you'll be able to find me."

The next file seemed to skip a month as Anwen was older and the background was unfamiliar as Gwen swayed on her feet. "I honestly don't know why I'm recording these any more. Maybe I don't want to give up on ever seeing you again. Or maybe I hope you'll find these videos years from now. But I don't know what I expect any more."

Her voice dropped to almost a whisper, as if she were telling a secret. "Sometimes I wish you never left the first time. I don't think I'd be married to Rhys then. Maybe I'd still have Anwen though."

A sigh and she brightened up. "Finished unpacking. Just putting everything away, maybe some paint and a little work in the garden."

A plague of being immortal is always wondering what if. What if he had returned sooner, been there when Gwen thought no one else would have her. What if he wasn't a coward and stopped her wedding for more than just the nostrovite. What if he hadn't been affected by her determination to always do the right thing. Jack wanted to curse the fates that made him ruin every family he had ever had. He wanted to go back to Earth, knock on Gwen's new door, and scoop little Anwen into his arms. He wanted that family, damn the consequences.

The videos continued playing, domestic scenes split by seconds of static. Gwen dancing around with baby Anwen until she spit up. First birthday party. First steps. First words. More birthdays, Anwen shooting up like a weed, long hair straight and dark like her mother's and sharp blue-green eyes. Most of the videos were full nonsense background sounds, Gwen never addressing him through the camera until the next clip wasn't of playing on the beach or reading a bedtime story.

The only way he could describe Gwen when the static cleared, was devastated. Jack prepared for the worst news, that something had happened to Anwen. Shakily, the red eyed woman spoke. "I needed you to stay, Jack. Needed you to be there for me."

She blew her nose and continued without looking at the camera. "Why couldn't you have told me I was wrong? You should have made me leave Rhys! Then I wouldn't have to bury him. All because of a stupid lorry accident."

Finally Gwen looked straight at the camera, face shining with tears. "But you would have survived. You would still be there for me."

Jack's heart broke again at the anguish on her face. He could have been there, could have been more selfish, but what then. Everything he had ever loved had been ripped away from him and the captain knew he could never bear to cause Gwen or Anwen harm. On the screen, the crying woman looked up and a girl's voice carried through the speakers.

"Mum? Who're you talkin' to?"

"No one, sweet thing." And the video was done.

More files played through in order. A school play, Anwen running in the garden with a puppy, her graduation, a hundred smiles and cheery waves at the camera. An entire life with a family he never let himself have and it was beautiful.

Just when Jack thought the files were done playing, the static cleared again and the scene blurred before settling on a dark haired woman, the spitting image of her mother. Anwen smiled sweetly at the camera, tilting her head just slightly. "Hello Captain. Mum told me stories about you. She said you are a lot of things, but mostly just that you are the best man in the universe."

She looked at her hands, twisting a napkin between her fingers. "Mum passed away last week. I found these videos in her stuff and I remember her always filming. I finally understand why."

Tears began welling in her blue green eyes but Anwen smiled wider. "I think she died from of a broken heart because of you, Dad, so I'm fulfilling her final wish. I hope all her stories about you and Torchwood are true and you get this. I have to go, but I'll keep my eyes on the stars. Bye Dad."

Static flared and then died away to blackness. Jack just stood in front of the terminal wearing only his trousers and mind blank. He didn't even notice a hand gently come to rest on his shoulder for a long moment. The Doctor only looked sadly at the computer.

"I thought you said Gwen was the one that got away?"

"She did. I was more selfish than usual."

"Anwen, she's your daughter?"

"Gwen and Rhys couldn't get pregnant, so I gave her some help."

"And you never told her." It wasn't a question.

"What was I supposed to say? I love you Gwen but I'm not good for you, so I impregnated you and left?"

"Well you've never been much for conventional things."

Jack pulled the memory drive from the computer and studied it. "I suppose so, but it never gets any easier, does it?"

"Not that I've found. But you know how wibbly wobbly time is, you might get a chance to know her yet."

The captain tucked the drive into his pocket and turned away. "Yeah, that would be a miracle."


End file.
